How To Approach Learning as an Adult: Play Like a Child
Learning Differently at Every Age
One aspect of my studio that will always interest me is seeing how differently our brains process new skills as we age. My students range from 5 to 75+, and the physical, mental and emotional abilities are always unique to each individual. That being said, there are some common generalizations and comparisons between adults and kids. A student asked if I would put together some thoughts on how adult learners might be able to harness some of the best ‘childlike’ traits when approaching learning their instruments. So here goes!
Most of the time, when most children try something new, they don’t expect to be good at it. They are pleasantly surprised, inspired, and motivated if and when they start to feel some success. Well-adjusted children are conditioned to struggling and failing. When they are frustrated, parents and teachers explain this is part of growing and guide them to continue. They (children) and we (adults) recognize and celebrate their progress, even if it’s an inch in the desired direction. Young people are used to learning all the time, in multiple -if not all- facets of their lives. If students trust their teachers, they are willing to take risks and jump. They learn to be brave. Kids understand that growth takes time. I’ve heard children say, “Maybe I’ll be able to do that when I’m older; in a few years I could be doing that too!” There’s a recognition that the work will pay off as the time passes, and they look forward to the future with anticipation.
On the other hand, most adults often don’t really care to age more than they already have. They would prefer immediate gratification when it comes to learning a new skill! (Who doesn’t prefer this, really??? BUT, it is surprising that as we age and attempt to learn something, we have less and less patience with ourselves as we acquire new skills.)
Here are some good reasons we tend to react this way:
By the time you’re an adult and choose to pick up an instrument, you’re most likely really great at lots of aspects of your life, proficient at most, and get by on the rest. How often do you learn something completely new to you? You’re used to DOING things. You’ve also been able to select and weed out bits that you don’t really enjoy. That’s a perk of being an adult: you get to make some choices. So when you make the choice to spend time learning a new instrument, the idea is pretty romantic. The romance can come to a screeching halt pretty quickly, *especially* if you’ve chosen a bowed string instrument.
Once you start to gain a little traction and figure out how to do something on your instrument relatively well, it’s easy to keep doing that particular familiar thing and ignore other aspects of growth. An example that’s common in the fiddling world is that students keep learning the melodies for tune after tune, but don’t necessarily focus on groove, subdividing, chords for double stops or back up playing and improvising, tone production, increasing tempo, jamming, and performance skills, and being expressive. Those juicy bits take the most work, the most effort, and yet they really make it all worth it.
You’ve probably listened to professionals providing these very components of music. You’re used to distinguishing music you enjoy, and your ear is ready to hear YOU create something similar. If you hear the sounds of aches and groans instead of the tone you ‘should be’ producing, it’s so easy to fall into the trap. The trap of resenting your relationship with your instrument, and questioning why you’re not farther along. Here’s where impatience and frustration that the gratification isn’t instant. I understand. I’ve been there.
Let me tell you a story.
If you’re familiar with me you know that early on in my ‘transition’ from becoming a classical violinist to fiddler, I was fortunate to have Darol Anger as a mentor, and then later, a boss. At the time of this story, I was around twenty-five ish years old, had graduated college with degrees in music, and been focusing four hours a day for two years on fiddling, all while teaching a full studio and gigging. I was trying to catch up to all my peers who had been attending fiddle camps since they were kids. In a lesson, Darol made some kind of passing remark that I was making good progress and that “in eight years or so you’ll really have a good handle on things.” I was stunned cold. “Why EIGHT?” was the only response I could muster. I mean, I was devoted. My heart had been cracked wide open by old-time music and I was all in. How could I get a handle on things in eight MORE years??? “Well, it takes ten years. It just does. Keep working like you’re working and you’ll get there. Don’t worry. I started later. Dawg was really good to me and believed in me while I was figuring it out. Britt started her ten years way earlier than all the rest of us. It’s okay. We start when we start. It takes longer if we don’t do the work. You’re doing the work. Now let’s play that tune again.”
I’ve told this story at various fiddle camps when professional musicians have been bitten by the bug and ask me about ‘the process’ of crossing over from classical to traditional. The shocked expressions on all the faces let me know what I must have looked like in that lesson with Darol. But I’ve never really shared this lesson with amateurs or adult beginners.
Ten years is significant. Especially when you’ve got the time and space in your day to practice for hours. I don’t have those hours anymore. I’m lucky when I get a chance to practice these days as a mom/wife/business(es) owner. So if you’ve been able to carve out a bit of time to devote to learning and then practicing your instrument, kudos to you. Remember that children usually don’t have to pay the bills, provide food for their families, drive all over the place, and create a safe emotional space. They have other people doing that, so instead, they can focus on their work, which is to play. If only we could be transported back to our childhoods and practice those instruments like our parents suggested! Ah, youth is wasted on the young.
Take heart. It will likely be a bit/lot more than ten years for you, and that’s okay. Because the never-ending learning cycle of music can be a joy and inspiration. Instead of suffering from ‘the shoulds’, delight in the journey and your instrument being your constant companion. Do the hard work and you’ll hear improvement.
This pretty famous guy called Bob Dylan said something that helps me in this realm:
“An artist has got to be careful never really to arrive at a place where you think you’re AT somewhere. You always have to realize that you’re constantly in a state of becoming. And, as long as you can stay in that realm you’ll sort of be alright.”
Maybe you don’t consider yourself an artist quite yet, but you are engaged in learning how to express emotion through sound, and that is making art.
Thanks for learning about life through music. It’s a worthy and notable cause. I’m proud of you. Remember, we call it ‘playing’ an instrument for a reason. Tap into your inner child. The one that’s excited to PLAY and GROW for the next ten+ years.
xoL
